And I Walked
by TigerLover629
Summary: I have to save Jane. Have to keep walking. For Jane.


I walked through the snow, feeling all of my muscles protest against the motion. Still, I pushed myself, making sure I kept taking steps, kept moving forward. I had to. I had to keep going. No matter what happened, no matter how difficult. I had to keep going. For her.

For Jane. I felt my gaze being torn backwards to look at her, with her body sprawled out on a makeshift sled. Her eyes were closed, she was either passed out or asleep. I couldn't tell the difference, nor did it matter. Her head was at an odd angle, her chin pointed up, and neck straight. I had moved it like that to make it easier for her to breath. I noticed how gray her skin seemed compared to her hair and the snow around us. Gray, not its usual olive color. My gaze dragged to the blotched red cloth wrapped around her side. I had done all I could to stop the bleeding, but she needed treatment. I had to keep going.

As I turned away from her form to keep pushing forward I thought about why we were here in the first place.

Jane had been working a case about a man who kidnapped girls in pairs, tortured them, then killed them. We had been driving out to eat and something I said clicked in her mind. She suddenly had a lead as to where the man did his crimes. This could mean finding him. Instantly, she drove there, knowing she didn't have enough evidence to call for back up. She thought she could handle it by herself.

Then, there we were, hiking through the woods, to a cabin far in, where Jane believed the man to be doing his work. I had been so excited to do something with Jane, I hadn't thought of any of the dangers. We made fast time through the woods to the cabin. I wish we hadn't found it. We had been attacked by the man, he had found us looking through what we thought was an empty cabin. When he came at us I didn't resist, as I knew that the man was much stronger than me, his height was large, his width was large, and his muscles were large. I compared little to that. Jane however fought. Jane fought hard, because that is what Jane does. But, her fighting led to her being stabbed in the lower stomach area, and the man quickly overpowering both of us. We were then tied up. The man, looking much like a shaved bear with his unshaven face and gruff demeanor, gave Jane much harsher treatment.

I remember the room we were locked up in smelling like fear, sweat and blood. The man came in after a few hours and started to torture Jane in front of me. I remember the pain in her eyes. The begging in her voice. The weakness in her spirit. Things I had never seen in Jane. Things I never wanted to see in her. The torture wasn't just for her though. He moved on after Jane passed out from pain. He came at me with a smile of a vulture finding a meal.

That is all I remember at that point. I locked myself away in my own body. I left. I remember Jane waking up and calling me to come back to her. I wouldn't though. I didn't want to. Then I don't remember anything else. Jane somehow found a way out of her bonds. She came to me, freeing me, holding me. She called to me with her eyes and touch. A pleading sense. She needed me. I came back to her.

The next time the man came in, we surprised him. She used the lamp to knock him unconscious, and I kicked him hard in the side of the head to make sure he stayed that way. That is when I noticed how bad Jane's stab wound was. Showing through her shirt, and dripping everywhere.

I made Jane sit still and tore apart my jacket to make a bandage for her wound. There was no way it was substantial enough, but it was something. Then I searched the house, finding our phones smashed, no food, and some old clothing. I took some of the clothing to make clean bandages, and to add layers so the snow outside wouldn't freeze us to death. I knew then we had to get back to the car. I had to get somewhere to save Jane.

I remember frantically looking around for something that could help us travel, because even though she insisted she could I knew Jane wouldn't be able to walk long. Then I saw the table in a new light.

I flipped it over and tore the wooden legs off, and searched desperately for some rope or searching through a basket I found some. I rushed over to the table and found a way to tie it to the table. I had made a sort of sled. After putting more clothing layers on Jane, I changed her bandage and then began the journey back to the car.

Now here I was, pulling her, moving closer with every step, but feeling like I was going no where. Jane was bleeding out slowly. I knew that from the constant rate I had to change the bandages. I knew we had been travelling for at least a day. Which worried me, because the original hike to the cabin had taken only a few hours. I knew I had gone the wrong way, but my mind was too jumbled to fix it. I figure now, eventually we had to reach a road. It was Boston, the woods couldn't be that big.

My stomach was a pained area, the lack of food for the amount of time was getting to me. I wouldn't be stopping to find anything. That would put less time on Jane's clock. I looked up at the sun, it was falling from it's peak. Probably like 3ish. Plenty of walking left to do.

Suddenly I felt my foot hit an ice chunk, and my momentum making me fall. I hit hard in the shallow snow, and laid there for a moment. The pain was mostly in my thigh, which had struck something. Shaking my head I pushed myself up and picked up the rope I had dropped. I started to walk again, feeling the sharp pain in my thigh with every step I took. Faintly I heard a sound. Like a car. We were close. This gave me strength as my steps grew faster and stride longer. I had to keep going, for Jane.

I was in a trance now. I had no idea how many steps I had taken. Now it was just a motion and I couldn't stop. The pain in my thigh had dulled because the walking had loosened my muscles slightly. The cold air kept them from loosening completely, so the pain stayed present. I knew if I stopped the pain would worsen. Another reason to keep going.

A small voice broke through the air. The sounds I was used to were my labored breathing and the soft crunch my shoes made with every step. I froze and listened. When the silence stretch on I thought that I had imagined I heard it clearly this time. A weak and raspy voice that softly said, "Maur."

Slowly I turned around. There was Jane. Right where I had put her earlier. She looked exactly the same as when I first looked at her, except her eyes were open this time. I moved timidly toward the sled, watch her eyes lazily follow me. I kneeled beside her and put my hands on the cloth I had wrapped around her hands to attempt to keep them warm. I cast a gentle smile, "I'm here Jane."

I saw the edges of her lips twitch up when I looked into her eyes and she heard my voice . So, dull. They looked almost lifeless, not the usual fiery that seemed to be her presence. I felt the smile run away from my face. I needed to get the light back in her eyes.

I now saw her pale lips move into a frown. It creased her face, and made my heart twist. Her eyelids seemed to be fighting to stay open as they twitched. Now I murmured,  
"It's okay Jane. I'm going to make sure you are safe. I'm here."

Now her eyes surged fully open for a moment as she whispered, "Maura." Then they were closed. She was gone again.

I stayed next to her listening to her struggled breaths for a moment. Then I moved my hand up and pushed some of her wild hair back, "I promise I'll make it okay."

Now I pushed myself up, pain searing through my thigh. It didn't matter. Jane needed me. Now fueled by her weakness I picked up the rope to the sled again. I looked at it for a moment before tying it around my waist.

I started running, my body screaming at me to stop, but I wasn't going to listen. I could hear cars clearly now. There must be a road near. There must be.

Running was my worst idea by far, but I wasn't going to stop. I remembered the dull light in Jane's eyes when she looked at. I need her fiery back. I needed Jane back. So, I kept running. My body would just have to deal with it.

Snow had found a way into my boots from my running. First it was a sharp cold that made me want to stop and get it out. I couldn't do that though. Soon it dulled into a warmer puddle. It was slightly uncomfortable, but the sounds of cars nearby pushed me faster.

I started to notice how the trees were thinning out, which made me smile and pull even faster. I could feel Jane's weight tugging me backwards. It was a good thing she was thin, otherwise it would have been much harder to push forward.

Now I heard a car, and I knew it was right ahead of me. Soon I saw blurs moving ahead. I could almost taste the gasoline in the air. So close. I could clearly see the road now.

Then I was there, trees gone, and a small highway in front of me. Untying the sled I pulled it a little closer to the road before stopping. I know I should check to see if Jane was still breathing, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. She was. That's all I could think.

I stepped closer to the road and stuck my thumb out. I was pretty sure this was what I read hitchhikers would do. I watched cars fly by, casting a cold wind my way. I felt my whole body shiver, and with that motion I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. I was about to investigate when a SUV slowed down next to me. The window slowly rolled down to reveal a young couple. The man, clean shaven with kind eyes, started to ask what was wrong when the female, with dark hair and a pointy nose, said sharply, "She needs help! Look Craig!"

I nodded fervently, "Yes! My friend-we-we-we were attacked. We need to get to the hospital. Please will you take us?" I could feel the desperation in body seep into my words. I looked back and forth between them, begging them both.

Then the woman quickly responded, "Yes! Yes! Get in! Hurry up."

I felt a guilty smile creep onto my face as I hurriedly said, "Thank-you so much!"

I turned to go get Jane when I heard a gasp from the woman. Whipping around I felt more pain in my shoulder. Her eyes were wide when she looked at me, "There's…There's a knife in your back."

As she said that I started to notice the man getting out of the car to help before the wave of pain crashed over me. The pain was centralized in my shoulder blade. My hand snaked back to feel it. Before I got to the pain, I felt something wet covering my back. Cringing in disgust I brought my hand around to look at it. There was blood on my fingertips. My blood.

For a moment I was stunned away from the pain again. I was definitely in shock. Now I reached around to my back again. I felt it, a hilt. There was a knife in my back. By registering this I felt all the pain come rushing into me. It was terrible.

A movement caught my eye. The man was moving towards Jane. What if he hurt her? Now with a growl I said, "Don't touch her."

He looked surprised and said, "It's alright. I'm going to put her in the car. Okay?"

Weakly I nodded, ashamed at snapping at such a nice man. I noticed the car door was already open and I climbed in, the pain almost unbearable. I didn't lean back, because that would only cause the blade to be pushed farther in. I also didn't think much about my injury, because with all the time it had to bleed, I really didn't want to think about the likely result.

My eyes followed the man as he carried Jane and then set her gently in the car. For a moment her eyes flickered open and she looked at me. Just me. It was weak, but she returned my smile. Now I murmured, "It's gonna be okay Janie. I promise. Okay? I'm going to make sure you are okay." I had to make sure Jane was okay. She was everything.

Then I watched her eyes close again, and mine soon followed suit.

My eyes flickered open now, and I was not in the SUV anymore. It was bright white, a light. Then a gross lilac wallpaper, that clashed with the two floral chairs in the room. It was a hospital bed. Where was Jane?

I started to frantically looked around, when I found how tired I was. How much it hurt. The knife was gone, and I could see the IV I was hooked up to, and the blood that was being put into my veins, like it was mine. The blood packet wasn't very used up, so I couldn't have been here long. Then my eyes caught some dark frilly hair outside of my room. In a wheelchair talking to a doctor, and then crying. That woman had just gotten some bad news I think. I could tell the morphine was making it hard to think.

Then the woman wheeled around. It was Jane. She was coming to my room. She was crying. Jane never cried. It hurt me to see her so sad. Why was she sad? Then she came into my room, wincing a little with each motion.

When she saw me looking at her, her smile could have powered Boston. I looked into her dark eyes for a moment, so many thoughts in there, such soul. Now she said, "Maur you're awake."

I smiled weakly, "You are too. Did they get you bandaged up better? Are you gonna be okay? Why were you crying." My eyes shut for a moment, before I forced them open again.

She wheeled closer to me grabbing my hand in hers and saying, "I'm going to be fine. Because of you I'm going to be okay."

I smiled now, giving up the effort to keep my eyes open, "Good. I wanted you to be okay. If you weren't okay, I wouldn't be okay. Cause I need my Jane."

I heard a laugh choked with tears, and my eyes opened once more to look at her beauty. Even with her all the dirt, and sweat, and some blood she was the most beautiful human to ever grace this earth. And the way she was looking at me right now was helping. I watched her move as close as she could and whisper between sobs, "Oh Maura, I love you. I need you too. Please don't leave."

I was confused now, "Why would I ever leave you?" The beeping that had been filling the room was growing fainter as all my concentration was on Jane.

She smiled and kissed my cheek, "Maura-" Then she was cut off by her own sobs.

I leaned forward, well I tried to, but I was too tired. Now I whispered, "Jane. What's wrong?"

For a moment it seemed like she was too caught up in her own tears to answer me. Then she looked at me with a look of a mother that had just watched her child die, "Maura-Maur. I'm going to be straight with you because I would want that. Maura, you bled too much. We got here too late for you. All the effort you put into saving me drained most of your blood. You should have not even made it here I guess. There is nothing they can do. You were too far gone when you got here. Maura-Maura you are dying."

I smiled weakly as my eyes lost the fight of staying open and I murmured, "So that's why I'm so tired. Wait- Jane you're okay right?"

With a whisper she responded, "Yes Maura. I'm okay. I'm going to be just fine."

Now I felt like I wanted to sleep, "Good."

Then a straight beep filled the room, taking over our little moment. I couldn't register it, but it was the sound of the monitor telling us my heart had stopped. Then Jane's screams filled the room, "NO! MAUR! I LOVE YOU! NO! COME BACK! Maur!" Then the sobs, "You can't go Maura. You can't."

For a moment I fought to go back to her, she sounded pained. I needed to tell her I loved her too. We could live out our days together, but I couldn't. I was gone. My days were over.

I saw a bright light and I started to mentally move toward it, when I felt lips on my dead body's lips. And the last sound I heard, "It's okay. You can go Maura. I love you. Go."

If my heart was still beating the defeat in her voice would have ripped it out, but all I could see or feel for that matter was the light ahead. I had to get to it. I'm so sorry Jane. I needed to. So, I walked.


End file.
